First off, I admit that this analogy probably applies to anything that you’ve ever had to wait for, but as I’m currently waiting to hear back from a couple of agents, it’s an analogy that is sitting strong with me right now.
As you all know, the idea of Schrödinger’s Cat is that there is a cat, in a box. The cat could be alive, and it could be dead, but until you open the box, you won’t know for certain. Having your work out to various people who could be deciding your fate as we type is making me feel very much the same way. I’m torn between wanting to find out if the cat is dead or alive and wanting to not find out because while I don’t, the cat could be alive.
The agents have had my first 30,000 words for around a couple of weeks now. That’s not a long time in the grand scheme of things and my current understanding is that these processes are typically pretty slow. That doesn’t mean I’m not sitting on the edge of my seat and jumping every time my phone buzzes with a new email. I am definitely doing that. But while I don’t hear, the prospect of success is still alive. I’m finding myself split between wanting to know one way or another.
I had a knock-back last week. I wailed and gnashed my teeth and told my husband he just didn’t understand for about half an hour but then I appreciated the honesty. It felt important that I knew that cat was dead.
I’m not sure I’m ready to check on the status of the others just yet. I’ll just keep plugging away at the novel, hoping that one day, whether it’s in the near future or the not-so-near future, I’ll hear a miaow.
Would you rather know for certain quickly or be left to dream for longer?